| Wow...today is my birthday....49...YUCK!!! I feel like I haven't *arrived* yet....like when I was 30ish I thought ....49 was SO old...and it is! I dont like it at all....leaving my 40's...maybe because they have been so hard and I never really settled into them....Tough last 9 yrs....very tough....and my hormones are crazy....my adrenal gland is shot...DHEA is very low...I know this ...how?...because I just paid a few hundred dollars to find out! Now I have been waiting for weeks for my appointment to go over what....I can do about all this...oh and did I mention...my thyroid is way low too....no wonder I am barely hanging on here! Exhaustion beyond exhaustion....So...maybe that is why I could care less about my birthday....it means nothing...as do alot of things these days...Counting down the days til...nex Wed when I get my over the phone consult!!! Oh and to top it all off I get to start injections in my back again...weight gainers...that I do NOT need....thank you very much...I am hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel...soon...if not...where does one go from here? |
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| Today my son turns 21!! So now my oldest is 22 my youngest son...21...and my baby girl...6.....What a wonderful life I have been blessed with! Incredible children who I just love...We have had an interesting turn in our *relationship* lately...I have had to truly LET GO...and it has been tough....But I realized I was so trying to get them to live the life I wanted them to live...and not that that is wrong..but at the sake of our relationship it was causing stress...So I released them...and I feel SO much better!! And they do too....I do not have time to blog about all that has happened because I have a little girl who needs to go to school..and then I need to paint my ceilings...or at least pretend to paint them! haha....But...Wow God has been taking me on an incredible journey lately..and I just love the peace I have from it....He always knows BEST!! I have to TRUST that more...So today I am SOOO GRATEFUL for the journey I have been on and for my THREE incredible blessings He gave me..... |
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|  It finally happened....My girl is 6!!! She had been counting down the days since last birthday!!!She has lost 2 teeth....and that thrills her as well. I have never seen a child so thrilled to lose teeth!
6 yrs ago....today....this little wonderful amazing miracle was born....and I had no idea! God did though...and I am so thrilled He chose her for us!!! After all the yrs of trying for another child....all the paperwork....all the wondering and tears .....and painful nights of crying for another baby.....she was born...and I didnt even know it! But...a few days later...we saw her picture and I could barely see it...it was so blurry....A little background I had looked for yrs at pictures of children needing homes...and I had showed my husband....and he would just say...oh cute ..and walk away.....I must have showed him 10,000 pictures or more over the yrs....but this time he stopped and said....What about her? I about fell off my chair....We had been waiting to be totally paper ready before getting matched with a child because that way the child did not have to wait as long....before coming home....but we were almost ready...so I called the agency and Yes she was available....so me a bit hesitantly said we would love to be considered for her....I just wanted to see her eyes...and in the picture I couldnt see them or her really....but my husband knew she was the one! For a couple days as the process began...I kept wondering if we had jumped to soon...but ...then more pictures arrived with her eyes opened...and I knew too....She was indeed our little girl! So glad I listened to my husband! I think because he had never jumped on the emotional ooh aah board with me before that when he said ....What about her....I knew I should listen to him...and I am SO glad I did!!! I am a slacker on my gratitude journal but on day 57 I am so grateful for this little girl God blessed us with! She is incredible...and tiring but oh so wonderful!!!!!! Look at this amazing picture that was out our window today!!! I am taking it as a little I love you from God!!! Also some pics of Brooklyns now losing her second tooth!!! 
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| I am grateful .....today...for kindergarteners!!! Today my little girl had a Valentines Party in her class at kindergarten...I went to it...and I forgot...how awesomely adorable it is to see how precious and serious...they are about handing out their Valentines...So cute....I loved every minute of watching their little eyes...so intent on finding the right childs name for each huge envelope for Valentines...made my day!! And for that I am so grateful God has blessed me with this little adorable...girl...to do this all over with again!!! I just wanted to add a cute thing that happened last night surrounding Valentines... Brooklyn was doing her Valentines and she had the list of kids...and she brought one to show me.....It said...To: Brooklyn...From: Mom....I said oh did you make one for yourself...and she said...Well my name was on the list..and I couldnt give it to myself so you are giving it to me!! So adorable.... |
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| I have got to figure out how come sometimes I can get on this site and others I can not! So flusterating.... Today I am so grateful...so have felt good enough to take a shower!! We have all been sick and I have been too weak to even take a shower...but today...it felt like I had made it to the other side of sickness...and....took a shower...by noon I was out and about ...and was exhausted! Tonight we are all home early...and in jammies trying to recoup from a full day of activities!! But I am grateful we are coming out the other side of this illness...it so makes me grateful for my health as well... I am also grateful for this wonderful dr I talked with today...we are going to do some tests and find out thryroid, hormones..and alot of other things...to get a total picture of what is going on...can you imagine paying 320.00 to have your urine tested?! I cant...but I am going ...to do it..because I have been so looney toons the last few yrs...is it menopause...peri menopause?? I just want to feel great again...and I know I am on my way! Good health when we get older seems to cost a big chunk of change....I remember once having vitamin shots....Can you say...YUM?!!!! LOL....they are instant energizers...and they make you feel great...but cost alot....so for now they are out and the urine test is in! A girl has to have her priorities! I am working on my first quilt....crazy really because I have not sewing machine or need for one! But a couple friends are quilting and they are teaching me...I have squares I sewed together today....and for some reason some dont quite match up!! lol...oh well we will hid it and put it away once it is done and company comes over....it wont be for public viewin! My little girl is sitting playing cards with her daddy...and it just makes my heart smile to hear her little giggle..Smiling tonight here in Idado! |
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